News: Heathville (28 Mar 1913)
Surnames: Jordan, Drake, Gibson, Latamore, Duffy, Davis
----Source: Granton News (Granton, Clark Co., Wis.) 03/28/1913
Spring is coming with beautiful sunny days, the heavy wearing material will soon be discarded, light spring bonnets will soon be in fashion, then horrors for the man who can read a newspaper through a 3 inch plank, and will tip his hat when he approaches 7 yards of calico. Be good to yourself on April First and don’t kiss the hired girl instead of your wife. Also it may work for an April fool stunt. Of course anything like that wouldn’t happen in Heathville.
Geo. Drake is with us again, although at present not in the best of health.
Mr. and Mrs. Loyal Jordan visited the Delbert Latamore home last Sunday.
Tom Gibson is a barber by name and an Englishman by trade. He never in his life can say horse or jackass. He calls the first "orse" and the second "jackhass." Tom is a born Englishman and it’s said the was 18 years of age and quite well dressed when he arrived in this country. So much for Tom. That is more than the average American can say for himself. As far as we know the majority comes here without any clothes on. Tom is a good natured jigger and when he smiles has an opening in his face from ear to ear. But don’t go abusing him, for it may be necessary for you to seek employment in a temporary hospital. He has been handling a razor for the past 20 years and as far as we know never has cut anybody’s throat, also several have hollered bloody murder when there was really no need of it, excepting a close shave.
After spending 3 or 4 weeks in Chili and taking treatment as various places, old uncle Whiston Davis has returned to his old home in Heathville and is now about as limber and spry as old John Duffy. It is said as soon as warm weather permits they will both take climbing and jumping exercises. After that they will be ready for the stage.
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